Thursday, November 27, 2014

Dollie thoughts

I'm still having a rough time in my life and I think it's affecting my hobbies.
I have little energy and motivation, and sadly it's part of my mental illess.
Imagine I have ten sticks. These ten sticks represent the energy I have.
For every task I need maybe one or two sticks, so logically I'll run out of sticks very fast. Let's say a non-mental ill person has fifty sticks.
So naturally I spend a lot of sticks on the most important things every day. Like showering, doing dishes, generally taking care of my life.
Not a lot of sticks are left for the fun things, but I tend to use my "sticks" for fun things, when I'm with friends.

But this has affected my hobbies. All of them. However, this is a dollie blog, so I'll just talk about that.
Often I'll look at my dolls, all the unfinished projects I have, and feel like it's a never-ending circle I can't deal with. I can't find the energy to do the things, I have planned and looked forward to.
Thanks to a lot of self-hatred, I also don't feel like I deserve my dolls. They (and their characters) should belong to a better person and artist/writer.

I want to find my reasons to stay in the hobby and feel the happiness I felt 5-6 years ago, but it's getting harder each day.
There is some important things in the hobby, though. All the friends I've made. I don't want to leave, because I'm afraid people would find me uninteresting without my dolls.

I don't think I'm gonna sell off all of my dolls. As a friend told me "What if you regret it?", and there is indeed a chance that would happen. But I'm really sick of going through all of these "I hate the hobby and everything about it" several times each month.
My best friend suggest putting away the dolls for a while, but I haven't found the best way to do that yet.
Also, usually these moments of hobby-stress are rather brief. I'm just sick of them and want some peace and enjoyment of my hobby.

8 comments:

  1. Aww I don't really what to say :( I hope you find balance in everything so you can go on in a better way. If you feel like you need to sell your dolls, do so, don't keep them for others. You won't be less interesting or less of a person without them! Think about what you want to do carefully, what would make YOU happy.
    I wish I could help, all I'll say is this: you are a great person and you deserve all the good things that have happened or that might happen to you in the future. Dolls included.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! :)

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear that. >__< You are so nice and friendly and awesome! I hope you are able to convince yourself that ofcause you deserve having your dollies! I love reading your blog, your characters and doll-choises. Please don't feel like you are not good enough or that there is a minimum activity needed to be a 'propper' doll-owner. It's not fun what you are going through, but think of how happy your dolls make you, and how unhappy you'd probably be if you sold too many.
    Maybe you could line them all up in front of you, analyze your real feelings carefully, and try to decide which characters/dolls means the most to you and makes you smile when you think of them. Then you know which ones to keep.
    I think it can quickly become too overwhelming to have too many unfinished projects - too sadening really. So you should forgive yourself for not being able to complete them all now and sell some - in the end, you can always buy them again/new shells later when you feel you have the energy for more dolls.
    I know it's hard to have to let go of dolls, but it can really be a great booster for you to find new energy and enjoyment for this hobby. :/

    (BTW - you could consider maybe visiting a tanning salon (solarium) to get an energy boost! It might sound strange, but getting light is really helpful in this gloomy winterperiod) <3

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    1. Thank you a lot ;-;
      I'm gonna think hard before I sell any of them. A lot of them are expensive or hard to get now. So I'm not gonna take any quick decisions.
      I actually did a little spending recently. I hope it'll cheer me up to get a bit of new stuff for them and get them a bit more complete at the same time.

      (I should consider it. Another friend of mine suggested some kind of sun-screen? I'm not sure what he meant, but I should at least look it up :P)

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  3. Oh no! I'm so sorry for you! I hope you can somehow get the joy back from this hobby.
    Maybe you do need to cut down more on your dolls? I know that for me it stresses me out to have too many dolls and then I loose my interest. I don't know if it's the same for you.

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    1. Thanks dear :)
      I've considered it, but I'm not even sure how to do it. I think I may be that kind of person too, though. So at least, I'll try and not buy any new dollies for a while. :P

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  4. I don't know what to say, but I will try. First of all, I'm really sorry, and if you need to talk more, you can send me a DM on Twitter, or even an email!
    Secondly, I know it is a hard feeling I sometimes had it, sadly. I will suggest to undress the dolls, and store them in their boxes (if you still have them) on a closet, where you can not even see their boxes. Try a couple of days, to see how you feel. If on those days away you start wanting or missing doing things with them, then you know it was temporary.
    Hope everything gets better for you!

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    1. Thanks a lot <3
      I've definitely considered that solution. It seems like the easiest and most painless one.
      I spend some time with some friends last weekend, who happened to be dollie owners and I feel a bit more cheerful :)

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